Gut Brain Glow Up

Back in June last year I opened up about how food had suddenly become an issue for me overnight, and I wanted to give a little update.To be able to do this subject justice, this will be the first installment of a 2 part update, rather than making you read a small novel posing as a blog post! Reading my post ('food glorious food') back it makes me sad to realise that, realistically, my body dismorphia and eating disorder are far more engrained in my psyche than I realised at the time. Rather than my managing to overcome it with, what seemed simple, changes of thought pattern to 'food is strength', it has doubled down. I will freely admit that this is mostly down to my naiveity regarding how long I've actually been dealing with this (turns out most of my adult life), and just how firm those foundations are sunk into my brain.   I've now realised that my body dismorphia spans from childhood; always being heavier than my friends, 'innocent' childish teasing ...

I think everyone understands the feeling brain fog and the old noggin not firing on all cylinders when you're feeling unwell. This may be because of a cold you've picked up, the impact of a poor nights sleep, a bad mental health day or one of the symptoms of a more chronic issue. On these days (which has been every day with varying severity over the last couple of years) it's hard to put your mind to anything and 'be productive'. Even the little wins requiring mental energy seem like mountains to climb, and all you feel like you're capable of is doom scrolling or binge watching. This is where I've found it useful to have something creative I can return to that is soothing for me mentally, I enjoy, and feels 'productive' in a manner that isn't as taxing.  This is where crochet and paint by numbers has come in; these activities give me an endgame that is achievable but not too taxing. For example, with both of these activities there is something be...

In my 'so whatcha gonna do about it?' post, I mentioned that hypnotherapy was on the cards as part of my treatment, well it's finally come around and I've finally started my 'Gut led hypnotherapy'. It has been a long time waiting, being lauded as the 'key' to unlocking everything and really making progress.  Now, when someone mentions 'hypnotherapy' or 'hypnosis', I don't know about you but my mind instantly jumps to the scene in George of the Jungle 2 where someone is hypnotised to eat a boat load of ice cream... Just me? Anyway, the point is, hypnosis has almost been satirised as a 'magic trick' or something done for entertainment in western society. Then you learn that actually its been a technique employed for various forms of therapy, including trauma, for almost a century (if not longer). Its actually something that is discussed in 'the body keeps the score' by Bessel Van Der Kolk, a well renowned and respected b...

For Christmas, my husband and I were gifted a voucher for a local escape room. We've done a couple before with friends and absolutely loved them, but have never done one as just the two of us. This weekend we put it to use and had a real 'date' afternoon for the first time in a long while.  I'll be honest, my husband and I are very different in how we approach tasks: he's an engineer so very methodical, has a good head on him and stays calm in all situations, I, however, am definitely the more chaotic of the two of us with my approach not always being the most logical or methodical, but it gets the job done! Our brains operate in different ways, but that's partly why we work so well together - he sees through the problem in front of us to compartmentalise into its different parts, and I see the road less trodden and am able to pick up on the hidden clues... that's if he's not already solved it and onto the next thing!  It turns out that our different app...

This week I did something for the first time in 2 years... I drove my car to the local dealership to get it's service and MOT. Yes this doesn't sound like much, but it's a huuuuuge step for me, here's why: Since I've been unwell, car journeys are, to put it bluntly, awful. I get car sickness that's on steroids and all the potholes and bumps exacerbate my pain, so being a passenger is something I just sort of put up with, and have a rest when we arrive wherever we're going. So add that to the mental energy and physicality actually driving the car takes, along with a fuzzy not quite fully with it brain, and you have a recipe for being a perfectly worn out and overwhelmed driver. Now, before anyone jumps in saying 'that's dangerous driving, what are you doing that for!?', I am fully aware of this and have been slowly building up my tolerance and 'driving fitness' by doing little drives to the gym and little bits around the local area so ...

It's amazing how you can go through life and not realise how many people you encounter have experienced trauma of some kind, have experienced similar issues or struggle with their mental health (this especially is less communicated and, in my opinion, needs to be spoken about more!); so when you meet someone and 'click' immediately because you both seem to work on the same brainwave, it can be quite freeing in a lot of ways!  I'm sure we've all experienced this 'vibing' with someone straight away, perhaps you have a shared interest that has brought you together or it's a chance encounter, but it feels 'right'. As you get to know them, it quickly becomes apparent that your brains are very similar - this maybe in the way you view the world or the way our minds like to play tricks on us and the commentary they provide in the form of anxiety and other mental health issues. I've been lucky enough to have extremely good friends for whom I'm ver...