1 Step forward 2 steps back

So, I had initially planned to start focusing in on each of the different things I'm doing to help get better this week. However, after a couple of recent set backs, and a catch up with my consultant, I've taken a bit of a side quest and decided to focus on how easily it can be to get frustrated with progress and the unfortunate ease with which it can feel like you're going backwards. 

If I were to look at a typical week, there are certainly good days where I'm starting to feel improvement, then do way too much and suffer the consequences of it for multiple days afterwards, this is known in some circles as 'boom and bust'. This can be immensely frustrating in itself as ultimately I only have myself to blame for over doing it, so learning to pace myself is a serious requirement! What's lead me to swivel on my planned topic today though is the more significant relapses than just the 'I've done too much' effect. This has happened a few times for me now in a more significant way, and it is immensely frustrating. It also shows just how delicate the healing process is. For me, these set backs have come from either additional stress causing issues or a traumatic and stressful encounter. Both caused me to relapse by months of progress; all of my symptoms flared majorly, especially the background pain. In all honesty it has caused huge frustration and feelings that this will never end, or weakness because of how easily the steps backwards were taken. However, fortunately the effects of the most recent relapse have started to ease 2.5 weeks after the event that caused them. I am trying to take this as a positive to show that, despite the step backwards, the return time has been much quicker than the initially time it took healing to this point in my overall 'glow up' progression; leading me to know I've already managed to set up a stronger foundation for my body than I had previously. 

On explaining this to my consultant, they were not surprised at all by how easily these backwards steps are taken, all due to how sensitive all the systems involved in my recovery currently are. However, so long as overall progress is in an upward trajectory, we are still on the right path despite the bumps in the road. Ultimately, the road to recovery is not going to be smooth, and there will be days of hopelessness, on those days it's easy to wallow in it all and lose motivation, however that's when it's important to try and see the bigger picture and how much progress has been made to this point. As the saying goes 'things that are worth it are never easy', and I believe good health and being back to 'me' is certainly worth it!

Ta ta for now! 

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