I like to move it move it

I don't think I can count how many times I've heard the phrase 'exercise is good for you', and on the whole it's true! It's great for your physical and mental health, but you can go too far, and knowing where that limit is isn't always easy. 

As I've mentioned before, prior to becoming unwell, I was the fittest and strongest I'd ever been doing a mixture of HIIT, boxercise, running, walking, with a bit of horse riding whenever I could get home. I wasn't necessarily doing this for a desired physique or in training for anything particular, I just enjoyed it and how it made me feel both mentally and physically; it was also my biggest coping mechanism for mental health. On top of that I enjoyed the fact that it enabled me to feel as though I could eat whatever I wanted without too much guilt! However, all this physical exercise along side a busy working life meant I was physically and mentally drained, and ignoring this fact to carry on. I've always felt this pressure to be 'doing something' and found it hard just to sit and be, even when that's what I needed.

So when all exercise suddenly stopped and I could barely walk out of our driveway, let alone head to the gym, my coping mechanism was gone. Then again when I started to do more there was this voice of 'i don't want anyone to see me. Am I allowed to do this?' because I felt as though I wasn't allowed to be out, wasn't allowed to be moving due to being 'ill'; this is something I'm still wrestling with... . So when I started to think about going back to gym classes and trying to get back that part of myself, it was anxiety inducing, but I did it. Fast forward 7 months and I'm back to being a gym regular, albeit not the same capacity, but I'm there! I've spoken before about the magic of yoga and how it has helped me, but alongside that I attend chairobics with my gang of grandparents, and I love it. I'm starting to get my mojo back and finding my inner King Julian (Madagascar) singing 'I like to move it move it'. 

HOWEVER, and it's a big however, I have to be very careful not to over do it. My competitive side often takes over comparing my current self to my old self, and that's not good. Pacing has never been my strong suit and I can feel myself falling back into old patterns of ignoring warnings, which has been part of the source of my recent backwards step. The fact I'm recognizing this though is a start, and I'm hoping it means I'm starting to listen, albeit through muffled ears...!

So I leave you with this thought; exercise and movement are a key part of recovery and progressio; it can also be a source of added unnecessary stress if not done in moderation for a body that has so much going on already and easily over done if you're not paying enough attention.

Ta ta for now! 

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