Gut Brain Glow Up

Something I didn't realise until starting this little series on emotions, is that fear and jealousy are often intertwined. It was only whilst I was writing last weeks blog that this realisation hit me, so it only feels right to talk about 'fear' this week.  Now, I was going to write about fear anyway, but firstly I'll cover how it feeds into last week's jealousy topic. On reflection, I realised a lot of what I touched on last week was linked to the fear of being left behind by friends and loved ones as they carry on their lives and do all these incredible things; the fear of being forgotten about, or worse, unwittingly holding them back from something they want to do because they don't want to upset or make you feel left out, or flare your condition if it is something you're supposed to be involved in. Even as I wrote last week's post, I worried (a form of fear) that friends may see it and feel guilty for living their lives.  That leads me nicely on to t...

Talking about the buried anger last week got me thinking about what other emotions I'm regularly suppressing, but are extremely prevelant in how my current health is impacting my every day interactions. So I guess a new series has come about quite organically - this week it's envy/jealousy.  It's quite normal to feel jealous about one thing or another, and when you think about it,  jealousy crops up more often than we realise. You could be jealous of how amazing someone elses life seems to be, someones wealth and financial standing, the amazing holiday one of your friends is on whilst you're in the office or at home in the rain. Anything that you wish you had or were doing that's different to your here and now.  I've realised that I'm finding myself envious of the every day 'normality' where life isn't revolving around pain, sickness, fatigue. I'm envious of my pre-illness self who was functioning - albeit not quite as well as she thought she...